Vince Demerit and Hercules

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Lil Vince Demerit is one of those really masculine queer men we enjoy so much. He luvs all the tough and tumble sports and chooses baseball caps and sweatpants to make his style statement. So when it came to picking a pet you know Vince wasn't in the market for a teacup maltipoo. No, for non-human companionship, Vince picked something a Lil more menacing: a 5 foot, red-tailed boa constrictor named Hercules. The snake has been Vince's favorite pet for the last 5 years. When Vince proposed doing this solo movie for us with his snake packaged around him it wasn't because he finds the idea sexually exciting. It's because he finds the snake to be an enrapturing accessory like a flattering sweater. And we agree that there's something sexy about a fit youthfull dude with a muscular snake packaged around his neck. Maybe it's the way the snake slithers around on Vince's flesh or maybe it's the suggestion of something phallic. But in fact, when Vince released his one-eyed trouser snake, Hercules seemed to perceive a bit threatened. So he slithered away and let Vince's 7 inch python take centre stage while Vince unloaded a big creamy load all over his abs.